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Which Dolores Park are You?

I have observed that Dolores Park is segmented into several distinct and (sub) culturally consistent sections.


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A. Hipster Hill
The Northeast corner of the Park (Dolores and 17th) is the realm of the Hipster. I suspect this is because while they can manage the walk from Valencia to Dolores they are too hung-over to make it up the hill.
Do bring: Bike, Enormous Sunglasses, Skinny jeans that show your butt crack when you sit down, Wear black and more black something army-looking works too, Ipods, beer and small speakers are encouraged.
Tips: Sit directly on grass look bored.

B. Jock Corner
Weekend warriors, dodge ball players, soccer fans, etc…
Do bring: Spandex, knee pads and some sort of ball to chase around.
Tips: be excessively perky and organized.

C. Latin American Club
The locals. Watching the scene and laughing.
Do Bring: Beer, your homies, a dog

D. Scary bathrooms
I have only had the pleasure once, but I heard nothing good happens in this place.
Do bring: protection, toilet paper, a sense of balance and humor

E. Gay cruising + Sunbathing section
Bring: a towel, a conversation starting small dog
leave at home: your boyfriend or life partner

F. Kids and picnickers
bring: diapers

G. Geek Section
This seems to be the spot wear the digirati hangs out
Bring: Food to share and your best portable devices

H. Hipster overflow and family outing section

I. Scary drunks and Hobo section
Bring: Bags full of bottles for recycling, Old English or Night Train.


This is an oldie but a goodie from a now moth-balled blog I used to keep.

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