High Verbosity

Given this I thought I'd slip this piece of advice to the men of the world who are trying to meet the ladies.

Listen up boys...the secret to getting her to melt like plastic army men in a microwave is to....

Let her talk.

Let her blah blah blah about her evil sister, her car, her best friend's crappy boyfriend, her fondness for shoes, her love of kittens and dirigibles...whatever ...

let her talk.

Why should you put yourself through this?

Because if you let her talk - she will suddenly associate you good feelings.
She will not know why exactly but she will enjoy being around you.
It is not so much that you are a big stud ..it's that she gets high when she's around you because she gets to blab...

If she feels good around you - then it is likely she will dig you...

see how easy that is?
It's like magic....

I know it is very hard - because when a man likes a girl...he tends to talk alot as well.

He will end up bragging alot...telling her how his job, how much people respect him, how he climbed Mount Kilamajaro or ate yak meat in the Gobi Desert, jumped out of an airplane, what university he attended, all the genius, billionaire, supermodels he is dating , how he feels about snowmobiles...

The woman tries to be polite, so she will often shut up, listen and ask questions which makes him think he is doing the right thing and he will continue to go on and on.

Each word putting him further and further away from sexy-beast category and landing him squarely in the bragging jackass category.

Meanwhile she may try to interject once and awhile the whole time feeling less and less heard.

He leaves thinking everything went great and she is left thinking he is a braggart who doesn't seem that interested in her.

Nobody wins.

So go forth and act like you are listening-ask a question or two..try not to fall asleep

also...open a door or two ...
trust me she will notice and before you know it you will be in drivers seat.
Getting whatever you want, whenever you want.

Once you are dating her - you can talk all you want..in fact you will be expected to.

Enjoy this brief time in your relationship when you don't have to say anything...

And some more info:

LEVELS
Men talk because it is a man's way of showing off his peacock feathers and trying to get the woman to buy what he has to to sell.

The thing that he doesn't realize is that he probably already won her over or he wouldn't be standing next to her in the first place.

So, I thought I'd explain this in language men understand....
think of it as a computer game.

Level 1
Your objective is to not give her a reason to chuck you to the "Just Friends" bin.

Women pretty much know within a few seconds of sizing you up if they would sleep with or date you or not.

She will usually make it pretty clear what category you are in straightaway..
- Does she call you her buddy? Sorry charlie....you can party if you want but ya can't party here
- Does she try to hook you up her girlfriends or co-workers? Negative...no soup for you
- Does she ask you to open bottles and perform other feats of domestic heroism? She wants to see you flex your arm muscles...you are probably in
- look at her feet - are they pointing at you? - Welcome to Ins-ville
our feet subconsciously point us where we want to go.
- Does she look in your eyes for just slightly longer than comfortable? She wants you
- Does she play with her hair a lot? Curl it in her fingers for example? - affirmative
- Has she touched you? Does she put her hands on your shoulder or let her knee touch yours? oh yeah...
- Has she preened you ? Does she pick pieces of lint off you, told you you have spinach in your teeth...she is noticing details and is going into nurture-mode which is one of the signs of attraction
If she is not a blood relative or obsessive compulsive you are likely in

If those things happen...
You are so in, bro

Lucky you
What are you waiting for....
For effs sake kiss her...

Receive a victory high-five from your buddies because you have reached

Level 2
The game is on

Getting from Level Two to Level Three is pretty easy too...
Objective is perform feats of strength and pretend to be a nice guy.

- Don't talk about other women...it is NOT endearing. It will only make her insecure
- Act interested in what she has to say
- Remember a couple of things she has said and tell it back to her
- Compliment her with something genuine - the rule here is for every compliment on her appearance make two about her taste. Tell her you like her books, music, car, shoes the way she eats pie in one gulp...whatever...think of something.
- Treat her courteously and politely (this is win-win because she will likely be courteous and polite back - what a wonderful way to conduct a relationship that is)
- Fix something, carry something heavy, take her to Target, take her dog for a walk..make yourself useful... it's hot

Level 3
Objective: feats of strength and endurance.
this is a PG rated blog.... so I will refrain.
But it's fun--trust me

Level 4
Objective: Keep the party going
- Let her dote on you - she will want to fuss over you don't freak out...just bask the glow of being her personal Superman..you lucky dog you
- Don't go out somewhere cool without inviting her - she likely won't go -
In fact you can start out by asking her if she wants to watch football with your buddies in a stinking bachelor pad, or go skeet shooting, or chasing bear or whatever horrid and boring things boys do. She will go the first time and never again.
When you think about it one afternoon of dragging her along is small price to pay for a lifetime of hanging with your bros whenever you want. She will know whatever you are doing is dead-boring and she will not make a stink about it. So, be smart and ask and the first time.

(end PSA)